![]() Sometimes, our inner thoughts help us make better decisions so we can keep on track toward our goals. Hormone Evaluation and Replacement TherapyĬontent updated from previous publish date.ĭoes this sound like your inner critic? We all have a little voice in our head that whispers-or screams-to us throughout the day.Marital Conflict and Relationship Issues.These are negative thoughts you have about yourself that include the word should. “Should” statements are another type of negative thinking pattern that contributes to negative feelings like worry and fear. He isn’t able to accept that this is a feeling but that there is also plenty of facts that show he’s a smart boy – like previous good grades. So because the boy who did bad on his test feels stupid – to him he is stupid. This is a common one for kids because they haven’t yet developed the emotional intelligence to understand the differences between facts, thoughts, and feelings. Emotional ReasoningĮmotional reasoning is when you conclude that your emotional reaction to something makes that thing become a reality.īasically you feel something to the point that you believe it’s reality, even though it’s not based on fact. This was despite being reassured by his teacher that she’d leave a note for future substitutes to ensure it didn’t happen again.Ī healthier way of thinking is to acknowledge that things went wrong, and prepare for how you’ll respond if that situation comes up again. One day there was a substitute and she did not allow him to use the microwave.įollowing that single event, he would not bring warm lunches to school anymore because he worried that would happen again. He always brought lunch to school that had to be microwaved. It might even cause them to avoid situations completely.Īnother example of this is my own son. If your child thinks something bad will happen in a certain situation because something bad happened once before, they will start building anxiety around that situation. He’s making the conclusion off of this event only. This could be despite the fact that he’s passed all of his other tests. If he was over generalizing, he’d be automatically concluding that he’ll fail all future math tests, too. Let’s say the boys bad grade was on a math test. ![]() They’ll take one bad experience and apply it to all scenarios. When kids over generalize, they draw faulty conclusions about things based off of only one example or event. When disqualifying the positive, it won’t matter how logical the positive evidence is or how far-fetched the negative evidence sounds, your child will continue to filter out the positive. You can’t help me study – you probably don’t even know this stuff!” He might say “ There’s no point, I’m too stupid to get it anyway. They also use negative thoughts to explain away any type of positive in a given situation.įor example – if the boy with the bad test grade came home and his mom said “On the bright side, we know exactly what things to study for next time. If your child falls into this thinking pattern, they filter out all the positive evidence about a situation and focus solely on the negative. ![]() This type of thinking is similar to the “All of Nothing” thinking pattern – but without the all. There is no gray area.Įxtremes like this are rarely factual and thinking this way often leads us to sabotage our efforts.įor example, the boy who received a bad grade on his test and thinks “I’m stupid” and is now feeling helpless, may not even study for the next one, sabotaging his chance at success.Ī healthier way of thinking is to acknowledge that there are areas in school that are more difficult, but there are also plenty of subjects where here excels, too. If your child falls into the pattern of all-or-nothing thinking, then they see things in one extreme or the other. Your brain is a supercomputer and your self-talk is the program it will run – Jim Kwik All or Nothing ![]()
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